March 23, 2005

Not funny, yet I laugh

If one more person sends me this Easter bunny rap thing, I might do something drastic. I have received this forward from several people over the last few days, and, every time, I think, yay, a personal email. And then, almost inevitably, it's the god damn bunny rap.

I can only describe it like an accident on the side of a highway. You know it's bad, but you can't stop looking. Oh, and there's a freaky bunny rapper singing on your radio too.

Check it out. I guess it could be somewhat entertaining, if the bunny was actually cute, and not the size of a horse. However, I have to admit, it makes me laugh. So keep 'em coming! You know you want to send it to me... you know you do.

http://i.flowgo.com/greetings/rapeasterbunny/rapeasterbunny.swf

March 10, 2005

Mr. Turkey Meatball, I salute you

It was a long, stressful day. I went out after work to meet someone and unwind a little. Three vodka cranberries, two and a half hours and no dinner later…

Yet another bizarre cab ride home. Some cab drivers are super nice, some are completely cold and then some are just plain weird. This guy fell into category #3. He decided to impart upon me his philosophy of dating and relationships. I’m thinking, well this should be good! I could use some advice. Who couldn’t… you know? Well, it wasn’t as enlightening as I had hoped. He ended up telling me that, in essence, nothing matters when it comes to dating. Looks don’t matter, personality doesn’t matter, humor doesn’t matter, chemistry doesn’t matter, money doesn’t matter, religion doesn’t matter, etc. He went on and on. What’s your point, I asked. Nothing, no point, was pretty much his answer. So I should just give up on dating then? Great. Ok, how much will that be?

Very anticlimactic, and depressing.

So I walked into my apartment, my stomach craving some sustenance and my head full of bad cab driver memories. There was nothing in the fridge, so I opened the freezer. Aha! Millions of turkey meatballs! It was like a moment of intense clarity, a light at the end of a tunnel, and, of course, the perfect 10 p.m. snack. Mr. Turkey Meatball (pseudonym Aunt Judy), thank you for YOU. You are a life saver. And not the fruit-flavored candy, either. No, you are the kind that actually “saves lives.” I need you on that wall (random movie quote). Your fried turkey and vegetable goodness simply hit the spot. Both my stomach and my head salute you this morning. And I salute you forever. Mr. Turkey Meatball, this one’s for you...

March 2, 2005

No day but today

Benjamin Franklin once said, “You may delay, but time will not.” Well, Benj, I hate to break it to you, but I did it. I totally delayed time.

This story proves the danger of too much routine and stability. February 26th, February 27th, February 28th and then we have February 29th, right? According to my notes from work, yesterday was, in fact, February 29th. I went through the ENTIRE day thinking that it was still February. And the notion of a leap year never even crossed my mind. It was just that the day before was February 28th, so naturally it must have been February 29th. Scary.

I’m completely aware of the date now. Today is March 2nd. It’s pretty cool to be a day further along in time, but I’m not an advocate of this method. I feel a little jet lagged to be honest. Next entry, the meaning of the term “jet lag.”