December 22, 2006

Giant Squid, Merry Christmas

Holy crap people! Not sure if you've heard, but researchers in Japan just filmed and captured a giant squid. You know, like a 20,000 Leagues type squid. Freeeeeaky.

Now scientists believe they are "more plentiful" than originally thought. Awesome. I'd like to point out that it was 24 feet long. That is about four people (or five people if you come from an Italian family) put together. Furthermore, the biggest giant squid on record was 60 feet. 60 FRICKIN feet. That is one huge ass piece of calamari.

What irks me most about this whole "capture" scheme is that A) they used a smaller squid as bait, B) it put up a fight and was hurt, C) it was not fully grown and D) it died.

Now I ask you. For what? It is the holiday season for crying out loud. I check cnn.com, innocently procrastinating on the last day of work before vacation, and BAM! Giant god damn squid. I may have nightmares. Not only are these things freakishly huge, but the image of human beings wrestling with it, as it struggles to sustain its short life, doesn't exactly scream Merry Christmas. Plus, they used a smaller baby squid as bait? WTF. Are squid such horrible creatures that they would eat their own young? Or are they that hungry? Maybe we should feed the squid instead of killing them. Here, big freaky squid. Here is some food. There you go. Now that's the holiday spirit.

But no.

Now I will live in fear every time I leave my apartment. I'll sleep with one eye open.

Message to giant squid:

Now hear this, giant squid! You will not win this battle! Your prehistoric freaky size will not scare me into a life of solitude in some land locked state! I will see the ocean again! And by god I will swim in it. I'm not saying I will ever swim anywhere remotely near Tokyo (I mean, I'm no idiot), but I will be swimming! Also, giant squid friend, if you see what looks like a boat overhead, run. Or swim. Or whatever it is that you do! Humans are not your friends. As much as I fear you, I respect you for your power. And from this sense of respect I feel I must warn you against our evil ways which we claim should be undertaken for the sake of "research." Just stay away from the surface. Oh, and stop eating little tiny versions of yourself. That's just sick.

The End. May the holiday season be a happy one for you. May you receive the gifts of love, happiness, good health and humor. And may you not live in fear of freakishly huge aquatic monsters.

Giant squid being captured with baby squid bait:












Characters from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, talking about how freaky and scary giant squid are:










Final thought:
"Think of it. On the surface there is hunger and fear. Men still exercise unjust laws. They fight, tear one another to pieces. A mere few feet beneath the waves their reign ceases, their evil drowns. Here on the ocean floor is the only independence. Here I am free!" --- Captain Nemo

December 17, 2006

Flow

I watched Hustle & Flow over the weekend, and I have to say, two thumbs up! Way up? Not so much. But they are up. Both of them.

Despite winning the award for the song "It's Hard Out There for a Pimp," I think the story exalted itself above your typical pimps 'n hos tale. It was a story about a dream... and a very unlikely dreamer. And I loved that. Too often we get sucked into the everyday routine and we don't allow ourselves to dream. Wanna be a rapper? Go for it. Wanna get your PhD? Do it. Wanna quit this city and travel around the world on a credit card? What better time than now.

Don't get me wrong. I don't condone shooting people to get this dream of yours. Shooting is bad. Exploiting women? Bad. But if you get the chance, I say follow your dream. Life is short, right?

Also, I have to comment on the dialogue in this movie. I consider myself to be pretty cool, pretty hip. You know. I listen to rap. I listen to R&B. But the first 20 minutes of this movie? No frickin' clue. I considered putting on the subtitles. But then I thought to myself, no! You can do this. Go with the "flow." And I did. Yay for me. But a warning to the rest of you... the ebonics are killer. I guess, despite my best attempts, I am white after all. Oh well. There's always hope for the next life.

December 11, 2006

Perspective

A few people noticed that I've neglected to write much lately. Thanks for noticing, by the way. It's nice to know you are liked, even if it's only by two people. Ha.

Life has been crazy, as they say. Lots of ups and downs. The ups are almost euphoric. And the downs can be debilitating. It's been so extreme that I considered the possibility of being bipolar. But then I remembered that the periods of mania vs. depression tend to last longer than a few hours. At least that's what my Intro to Psych book said.

It's in the down periods when I find it hard to write much. It's easier to watch a movie, go the gym or, I'll admit it, drink. Anything to keep my mind occupied.

This has been a great coping strategy for quite some time. Repression, baby. Gotta love it.

Until this morning.

I received an email from someone I knew very briefly. In it, she described her very sudden struggle with cancer. It was one of those shockers that made you say things like, "Why the good people? Why someone so young? Really, of all people. It just doesn't seem fair."

But as I read this email, I realized that she is doing great. Beyond great actually. She has a very promising prognosis and a wonderful family. But more than that, she probably has the strongest, most positive attitude of anyone I know... cancer or not. And I say that in complete honesty.

Her optimism, enthusiasm and gratitude made me stop and think. It's not just that I might be upset about things that don't matter much in the end. It's not just that. Because I believe that many of these things do matter. But I realized that by dwelling on these things, I could be missing other, possibly fantastic things. Like, for example, the number of times I've used the word "things" in this paragraph.

Her story also made me contemplate the whole "it happens for a reason" theory. But that's another post, for a later date. For now, I want to thank this person for putting life in perspective for me. Perfect timing. I know you have a lot of support and inspiration already, so thanks for being that for me today. You rock, as always.