The 3-day Rule

So I met a guy last Saturday night, gave him my number and, well, waited. As much as I say that I’m “not waiting” and that I, uh (throat clears) “don’t care,” who am I kidding. Even though he looked like Clay Aiken and was wearing a sweater (ouch, I know), I secretly wanted him to call back. He was kind of cute. Ok, shut up to all those who actually met him that night! Attraction is relative. Anyway …

A week later, no call. And so begins another weekend.

I bring it up not because I’m crying myself to sleep every night or anything. But, the situation really made me think about the whole concept of “the waiting game.”

The standard rule is three days. So, if he got my number on Saturday night (well, ok, Sunday morning), then I should not expect a call back until Tuesday night at the earliest. Hence the waiting period in between. However, according to a male coworker, guys sometimes calculate the three days from Sunday, making the call back day Wednesday instead. This is done for several reasons. First, it’s really on Sunday when they begin to think soberly, I mean clearly, and really decide if you’re worth a call back. Second, calling back on a Wednesday night is “more cool” because it’s closer to Friday. No one wants to seem desperate enough to be planning the weekend so far in advance (i.e., Tuesday).

There are many rules of dating etiquette. But this three-day thing has to be the worst. I’ll tell you why. The whole purpose of the three days is so the person with the phone number doesn’t seem either A) too desperate or B) too indifferent. The intention is that he/she comes off at that perfect level of coolness. You know, I like you, baby, but I don’t “need” you.

The problem is that this behavior is not real. It starts the relationship, if there is to be one, totally on the wrong foot. For example, I really like someone, get their number and want to call the next day. But, I don’t because of the stupid rule. So, the guy, who hopefully was equally as excited, thinks I’m blowing him off. Even if I call on the third day, some of that initial energy is lost.

And in my situation with Clay Aiken, there was a pathetic little part of me that was hoping he’d call on that fateful third day. As much as I deny it happened, it was a waste of my time.

The solution is for everyone to be as upfront as possible. Call the person back when YOU want to, not when some random (and, by the way, old school) rule dictates you should. And be yourself. Haha, this is definitely not as easy as I’m making it out to be. Truth is, we all have masks that we wear in trying to woo the opposite sex. I guess the difference is whether it’s a ski mask or one of those masks on a stick some people use at New Years.