Assumption

My mother, in her infinite wisdom, always told me that, "to assume was to make an ass of U. M. E." Get it? Like, "you and me?" What you're doing is taking apart the word assume and creating the phrase, "ass U. M. E.," which is not good, according to my mother. In any case...

Besides the fact that I thought it was cool that my mom cursed in front of me (she started saying that when I was about five), it turned out to be good advice.

We assume things every second of every day. I assume that if someone sneezes on me I will get sick. I assume that if someone with work clothes gets off of my bus in the morning at a certain stop they are going to the shelter for breakfast. I assume that if someone is snippy with me they don't like me. And apparently I assumed that Viagra spam emails actually came from Viagra.

To assume is dangerous. Some assumptions are innocent and merely create a little confusion. But some can be worse. Some can perpetuate a stereotype or a prejudice. Do you assume all Mexicans are lazy? Or that all gay men like Cher? Neither is true, FYI.

This past weekend I was sitting in a group of people and we were discussing someone else's recent strange behavior. This other person was not present. The group think bandwagon was in full force that night and, before I knew it, factual conversation turned to nasty gossip.

All of sudden, one participant blurted out, "You know guys, maybe there is something going on in her life that we don't know about."

And it made me stop. She was right. I was assuming that I knew the facts, but why would I? How could I? I had started to judge. And I had started to talk badly about someone who very well could be in a sad spot right now. Shame on me.

I can safely say that not a single person in my life knows every fact about me, so how can I be so presumptuous about other people? We only know what we know. Instead of getting angry, judging or assuming things about people, we should instead be open to learning more. Reach out and ask. Don't assume. Just care. Why is that so hard? Perhaps we feel threatened by what we don't know, or what may seem unusual.

I'm going to make more of an effort in my assumptions. However, I will still be annoyed when people sneeze on me. That's just gross.