We all get it. We all hate it. We all have developed a very regular removal routine upon every log-in to our email accounts. Check, check, check, check, check. Delete selected. Read the real email.
Spam just seems to be part of life now. A means to an end. Even with the “power” of spam filters, some will inevitably sneak its way in. But to get to the good stuff, we must delete the bad.
What puzzles me is advertisers’ assumption that these tactics will work. I mean, I’m not really stupid enough to order a weight loss pill from some random email that claims I will loose 30 pounds in 3 hours. Or am I. Are there people out there that buy into these claims? Do they order the pills? Do they send their checking account numbers to entrepreneurs in Africa? Do they buy penis enlargers?
My theory is that yes, there are people who respond to spam. Someone must be perpetuating it. But why? Perhaps spam does a great job of recognizing our insecurities. Weight issues. Money problems. Relationship dry spells. Small penises?
You catch people at the right time, with the right message, and you can sell them anything. For example, here are some spam emails I very nearly responded to recently. They are so tempting.
EXAMPLE 1
Subject Line --- usua room
Email --- thank you for the note yes i think you are hot and yes i want to hookup i will only be on msn messnger reqbecky@hotmail.com
Initial Thoughts --- Hmm, I don’t remember sending a note, but you know what? I AM hot! Maybe I’ll write this person back. He’s obviously very articulate, which is a plus. And I could hook up TONIGHT! What could be sketchy about that? There is absolutely nothing dangerous about meeting a stranger in a motel room. Weeeeee. Sex for me tonight!
EXAMPLE 2
Subject Line --- Your Complimentary Makeover and Portrait
Email --- Exclusive Online Offer! Save $100! Every woman has an inner super model just dying to get out and show off! At Glamour Shots, our staff of professional stylists and photographers will work with you to create high-quality, professional portraits that show off your hidden glamour girl. Whether alone or with a group of friends, the Glamour Shots experience is one you’ll treasure forever!
Initial Thoughts --- Originally, I thought, I don’t need this. Paaaah lease. But then I saw the before & after. It was so convincing, you'd think it was two separate people! So I have an appointment booked for this Tuesday.
EXAMPLE 3
Subject Line --- (none)
Email --- First i would like to say you are a sexy man
it you want to have a good time
i willl onlybe on msn mnessnger beckytely@hotmail.com
Initial Thoughts --- Another very articulate offer. And, ok, so I’m not a “man” per say. But apparently I’m very sexy And of course I want to have a good time. I mean, who doesn’t, you know? A good time sounds nice. Very wholesome. Joining msn messenger as we speak!
So maybe I wouldn’t necessarily respond… but I’ve been close. Ha. Just be careful out there. Be aware. And feel free to laugh at the ridiculousness that is the penis enlarger.
4 comments:
Hello, I know you don't know me but I was just reading your blog. I happen to recieve spam such as examples 1 and 3 all the time. Out of curiousity I just happened to google the email "reqbecky" and the only thing that came up was your blog. From all that I've read of it I think your blog is interesting, and I think your a good writer.
I used to help develop anti-spam strategies for a security company and learned a few surprising things, one being that spam messages are often not ads FOR a product or service, rather they are smear campaigns AGAINST them.
Viagra is the most famous example, where both competitors and the anti-sexual-enhancement lobby slipped funding to spammers to plaster the inbox of every e-mail address on earth with what look like Viagra ads. People thought it was the producers of Viagra (Pfizer) or perhaps shady resellers trying to push the magical pill and came to associate the product with the often daunting task of cleaning out their inbox each morning.
You never know, perhaps the folks at AOL sent out the first and third e-mails to tarnish the reputation of MSN Messenger... all at the expense of your inbox sanity!
I hates SPAM to pieces. (in my best Yosemite Sam voice) Good post. Where did you get that Penis enhancer information? MUD
thanks for your comments guys! especially interesting about the Viagra campaign... or anti Viagra I should say. I should try that. a smear campaign against dark chocolate M&Ms. they are way too addicting to continue as a product.
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