Super Intense Gym Guy

When you don't have to go to work, your life slows down a little. And it's wonderful. I find myself walking more slowly, looking around, thinking, observing.

I went to the gym this morning for a spin class, as is my Thursday routine, and I decided to hang out afterwards for some quick ab work. I found my spot and my favorite bouncy ab ball thingie (that is the technical term, FYI). As I stretched my back over the ball and took a calming deep breath, I noticed a familiar face walk into the room. Oh shit, I thought. Not today! Not on my relaxing no-work day! It was... DUN DUN DUN... Super Intense Gym Guy!

He found his spot directly behind me. Super Intense Gym Guy does not need personal space. And apparently he has no need to recognize mine. He had a jump rope. And a super large barbell. He jumped up and down as if he hated this jump rope. He had a look on his face like, "I hate you, you mother f***ing jump rope. And I'm gonna slam you into the floor every god damn time. You're not that heavy, but I'm gonna make it seem like it's really hard to lift you. Because I'm that strong. I'll show you what's up. God damn mother f***ing jump rope."

So while this scene is happening behind me, I'm trying to achieve my zen on the bouncy ball. Not so much.

He was doing intervals. So, after a few rounds on super intense jump roping, he picked up the barbell. Let me note that Super Intense Gym Guy is not that big. He's puny. A little guy, if I can be blunt. Anyway, he picked up this weight that was probably too heavy for him, and he proceeded to do curls. With every lift, I got to hear a, "Ahhhh! Oh!!!!," followed by super intense heavy breathing. He lifted that barbell about, say, seven times? May not seem like that much to the seasoned gym-goer, but to Super Intense Gym Guy, that is all you need.

And so it progressed. A round of super intense (and violent) jump roping followed by some super intense, although ridiculous, lifting.

After his interval training was over (a solid 10 minutes), he stopped and looked at himself in the mirror for a while. His breathing was heavy. He seemed satisfied with his morning workout. He looked at his strained muscles with such adoration, I wondered if he forgot to wear his contacts. I'm thinking, "What is he looking at exactly?"

Super Intense Gym Guy, I salute you. You are completely ridiculous and vain. But you have passion, and for that, you deserve some respect. Just stay away from my personal space. I'm not that impressed.