Psychic Street Lady

Deep in thought (i.e., not paying attention) I took a different route home. I passed a psychic woman on 18th street, selling her palm reading services. I stopped. She said, in an accent I could not recognize, "I see something deep inside you. Come here! Let me talk to you." The pushy directive was not convincing, so I kept walking, although I did take her little printed advertisement.

FOR OVER 20 YEARS HAS SUCCEEDED IN HELPING SO MANY OVERCOME ALL OBSTACLES IN LIFE, LOVE, CAREER, HEALTH, STRESS, SUBSTANCE ABUSE, DEPRESSION, AND MORE. DON'T LIVE IN FEAR OR DESPAIR AND TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR FUTURE NOW.

Overcome "all obstacles in life?" That is quite the claim. Apparently street psychics have all the answers. And she sees something "deep inside me?" What, the Cosi salad I had for lunch? My inner soul? Blah.

Street psychic lady, you have nothing more to offer me than I can offer myself. Except for some entertainment I guess. Followed by a piece of jumbo slice.