Panties

Yes, I said it. I said "panties."

I really hate that word. Ever since Billy Baldwin said it in Sliver. You know, that infamous scene in the restaurant? It was never the word itself, but the way he said it. "And the panties?" Ack, I can barely even type it. I'm actually squishing up my face right now, that's how disturbing it is to me.

Ok, moving on. Oh, Jesus, not moving on yet. So I just looked up Sliver on Amazon, and you know what the "Plot Keywords" are for the movie, according to the site? As in, if you weren't sure what movie you wanted to buy, but you had a few general themes in mind, these words would lead you directly to Sliver. Wait for it... 1. Female Nudity, 2. Kissing, 3. Female Detective, 4. Pedophile, 5. Telescope, 6. Stabbing, 7. Sex Talk, 8. Beautiful Woman, 9. Male Nudity, 10. Knife, 11. Shooting and 12??? You know what the final keyword is? PANTIES.

Anyway, the whole reason I bring this up is because, on my bike ride into work today, I noticed the first of what is sure to be many hurdles in this new found passion of mine. Yep, you guessed it. Panties.

When it comes to jeans, women tend to wear low riders. When you're walking, or even sitting, it's fairly easy to pull them up when necessary. However, when you're flying downhill on a mountain bike, trying to catch the green light so you don't have to start pedaling again from a standstill, it's nearly impossible to perform the casual "pull up."

To the many cars, pedestrians and most especially to the bus patrons that may have traveled behind me today, I say this. I am very, very sorry for the somewhat inappropriate showing of my panties this morning. I am embarrassed and ashamed. But, at the same time, I hope you enjoyed the pink and white stripes.