Freakville

Did you ever have one of those days when you wake up and automatically think to yourself, “Today is a good day. Today, I am in a good mood.”

Well, I had one of those mornings this morning. It was great! I felt invigorated. I felt like Tom Cruise – just full of unexplained irrational energy.

So I made coffee, played with my new cell phone (which, by the way, ROCKS), read the news online, took a shower, ironed my shirt (I know! Amazing!) and decided to treat myself by not making a peanut butter & jelly sandwich. No, today was a good day. Today, I would get lunch at Cosi.

High on life and the prospect of hot baked bread, I left my basement apartment, remembering to turn off the AC (who needs to pay for 11 hours of unappreciated electricity?). I locked the door behind me, and proceeded to the bus stop.

Little did I know what would await me on that short walk to the 42.

I exited my little patio area, made a quick left, a quick right, another quick left…. and BOOM! Smack right into what can only be described as Freakville. I kid you not. What stood before me was a sight indeed. And it took me right down from that “this is a good day” crap.

I had run into two people, a mom and her son. The son was about 5 years old and was riding a very low-to-the-ground tricycle. The mom was walking very slowly behind him. Sounds normal enough, right? Oh no. No no no… these people looked EXACTLY like the mom and son from The Shining. No joke.

Now, if you had a kid that looked like that, why in the world would you give him the same haircut? Seriously! I was so scared, I really was. AND he was riding a tricycle! Was this some kind of sick joke? Why give him a tricycle??? Are you purposely trying to fuck with people’s heads?

I’m extremely serious about this. It was as if they froze that child in time and 25 years later decided to freak everyone out. Well I guess the kid doesn’t have to worry about a Halloween costume this year. However, he will get no candy from me, that’s for sure. Where do you get off ruining my good day? Redrum!

By the way, The Shining and most other Stanley Kubrick movies, are excellent films. I’d even categorize Eyes Wide Shut as an excellent film. Although, I am currently boycotting all Tom Cruise movies for obvious reasons. I know movies, Tom. I know them! You don’t understand movies like I understand them, Tom! I have the research!