Flux

Flux is such a great word. Totally underutilized. I feel that lately my life has been in a somewhat surreal state of flux, which, by definition, means flow or change (or bodily discharge, fyi, but obviously I'm avoiding that particular meaning, at least for this post).

I've always been the type of person that avoids change at all costs. Moving to DC was the biggest change I had ever hoped to endure. I'd go to school here, get a job here, meet new friends, live here, breathe here. Forever. FOR. EV. ER. Thank you Sandlot.

But what I failed to realize was that change would happen around me and directly to me. And that I'd be powerless to stop it. People move away. Schmadri, Schmenny and Schmatie (names have been changed for the sake of anonymity), for example, three of my closest and dearest friends, three people that know me better than most, have already moved on. And several more are about to. My job has changed... twice. My apartment... once. My hair... a lot.

People in this city are constantly saying that DC is "so transient." It's become a cliche at this point. "Oh, nobody is actually from here. It's so transient. You know." ... "Yeah, man. Word."

Well, finally I've accepted this state of change, this state of flux, for what it is. One of the tenets of Buddhism is that life is always in flux. There are no constants. And if we believe that something is constant or always this way or that way, we are fooling ourselves. And we create what Buddhism calls "dukkha," which is essentially when you feel like shit. Ha.

People will move away, and I will miss them. But I have the power to keep in touch and to... pause... "visit" them. I mean, really, it's not like I have to wait for the next horse and buggy to pass through town. Everyone has their own path. Right now, mine is here. And it'll be interesting to see where others' paths take them.

Also, change is not necessarily negative. I'm so happy I'm on job #3 now. I love it. And if it weren't for job #2, I wouldn't be here. Scmatie, Scmadri and Schmenny are all in great places now. We'll always have a strong bond, and I am so very happy (and hopeful) for them. And change can be cyclical too. Schmaroline and Schmusan, yay for your return. And I love this apartment. And my hair, well, it's a work in progress. But that's kind of fun. It's in flux, so to speak.

According to a Buddhist saying, we are not corks in a river, as many proverbs teach, flowing with the tides and the waves. We are the river, changing, adapting and then changing again. As for transiency, I say bring it on. It's what makes life interesting and fun. I'm a river, damnit. Next post: why tubing is frickin awesome.