June 28, 2007

Crotch in Face

I realize that sometimes the bus is crowded. I realize that sometimes you have to squeeze by fellow passengers. I also realize that the center aisle on the average bus is not necessarily wide enough to fit two people, side by side, comfortably.


None of those things are an excuse for shoving your crotch in my face.

I was innocently sitting in an aisle seat. I was listening to gospel music. The music of God. It was probably the most wholesome moment of my entire day. And then BAM. Crotch in my face. I looked up, my head tilted to the side, and WHOA THERE. Whoa. There.

To the man whose crotch I so intimately have come to know, I say this. Be aware of your crotch. Be aware that there may be an innocent young woman sitting, listening to gospel music, completely unsuspecting of what awaits her. Be aware that, although your crotch may be fantastic in other situations, this is neither the time nor the place to shove it in someone's face. In fact, the general rule is, let the face come to you.

Don't get me wrong, I love that area of a man's, shall we say, ensemble, but again, time and a place, people. Time and a place.


Anonymous said...

hahah. this is awesome. people dont have a clue about personal space sometimes.

jeffro said...

the flipside of the crotch is oftentimes displayed in the face of riders, too, much to my dismay.

Tim said...

awwww man, are you kidding! this is way too funny right now! i'm going bananas... i hope it was this funny as it was happening.

Anonymous said...

You fool turd burglars are wrapped tighter than a hat band. Lighten up schmucks, a little crotch lint in the face is better than coffee in the morning & the smell of day old hard boiled eggs in close quarters will soom make you forget Old Spice cologne.